Destinaion: Guatemala! Trip Update

Hola!

We’ve been back from Guatemala for a week now and I’m still processing all that God did within me.  While I initially thought I was going on this trip for the kids we’d encounter, I quickly found out that God had other plans. Weeks before I left God was highlighting some areas in my life from past issues.  During that highlighting process, God was also burrowing to depths within my soul that I hadn’t known were there or that were so fragile.  I mentioned several times before, during and since the trip that I felt like God was breaking me into a million pieces a million times.  Little did I know, but God was beginning an extreme and rapid healing and restoration that would take place within the first few days of our trip.

The first statement I remember Eunice, our missionary, telling us when we got to Guatemala, and even before, was that we needed to be filled with the love and joy of the Lord because that’s what we needed to pour into these kids.  She said that if anyone of us were feeling off, we needed to let the rest of our team love on us so that we can be filled.  Something in me winced every time I heard that because I knew those were characteristics that were deeply bruised within me, and I didn’t want to admit it to anyone.

Over the past year and a half to 2 years, I’ve felt a steady shift in my life.  It seemed as though, due to some less that wonderful circumstances, that my life acquired so much stress and lost all joy.  This was a foreign feeling for me.  My whole life I had been known as someone who was ‘always happy’.  When the Lord started to do intense restoration in me, the appearance of happiness shifted to a strong presence of joy in the Lord. With that presence absent, I became a different person.  Someone who wasn’t joyful and someone who was not exhibiting the love of God the way I should have been.

For the first few days of our time in Guatemala, I was a wreck.  I was constantly crying and felt completely vulnerable in ways I hadn’t felt in a very long time.  One morning, we all had to go around and share how we’d been feeling since being in Guatemala.  I felt perfectly composed to share, yet when it was my turn and I opened my mouth, I burst into tears.  I explained that I felt joyless and broken and felt like I was mourning the loss of several things all over again.  The brokenness was so deep that I didn’t even know how to help God help me.  All I knew how to do was tell the Lord that I was open to whatever He wanted to do but had no idea how to articulate what it was that I was feeling or going through.  I felt like the joy of the Lord that had been pointedly talked about during the preparation of this trip seemed to be what was uprooting this pain, and yet healing it at the same time.  I had no idea joy could heal, but it can, and was doing so in me.

The team listened to my choppy, sniffle filled ramblings and within moments was surrounding me praying and loving on me.  A mixture of my confession and their prayers allowed for tremendous breakthrough in my life.  God revealed to me that the reason I’ve been having such a hard time the past year ½ was because I had been consistently running away from the healing He wanted to do within me.  Because I was running away, I was causing myself to push away His love and joy that He so willingly wanted to shower over me.  The life circumstances that seemed to be ruining me had very little responsibility for my feelings and emotional state.

After that moment, things began to shift in my heart, spirit and soul.  I felt joy; I felt a restoration for what I had once held so dear.  I knew I finally obeyed God whether I meant to or not.  I physically felt a weight lifted from within my heart.  Since then, the joy of the Lord has become more abundant within me and has caused so much healing.  Every day I feel more restoration and healing in the places that have been hardened and broken for quite some time now.

Now, onto the actual purpose for going…  Below is a brief play-by-play of how we spent our days:  Day 1 Monday July 26th Left VA for Guatemala, met the rest of our team once in Guatemala City, went home and had some team building games Day 2 Tuesday July 27th Visited Oasis girls orphanage to play with the girls Day 3 Wednesday July 28th Team prepped for worship festival workshops, drove to a community that was extremely affected by the eruption of Volcano Pacaya Day 4 Thursday July 29th Visited Nueva Vida orphanage to play with the kids, visited a friend of Eunice’s for dinner Day 5 Friday July 30th Visited an orphanage for kids with aids, went back to Nueva Vida for worship festival Day 6 Saturday July 31st Visited La Isla orphanage to minister to the kids and hand out clothes, went back to Oasis for worship festival Day 7 Sunday August 1st Lead worship at a local church, Eunice preached, and the team prayed for people in the congregation Day 8 Monday August 2nd Visited Funda Ninos orphanage all day, play 1st ½ of day then did the worship festival 2nd ½ of day Day 9 Tuesday August 3rd Free day to explore Antigua Day 10 Wednesday August 4th Left Guatemala to go home to VA

Most of the kids remembered our team mates that had gone the year before, and would frequently run up to them and say, “I am free!?”, which was their way of saying that they remembered the song *I am Free* and wanted us to sing it.  And we did, 4 trillion times. J  The kids loved it, and I’m pretty sure that song will never been erased from their minds, or ours!

As you know, we went with the intent to minster to kids in different local orphanages through teaching a worship festival.  We would visit the orphanages 2 times, once to meet the kids, play and love on them; then a second time to teach the worship festivals.  I assisted the music team during the festivals.  Our team taught a beginner course on reading music, clapping to the beat, and hearing the difference in pitches when singing. Then we’d put it all together and teach the kids a song in both English and Spanish.  Every group acted a little differently and we accommodated accordingly.  Most often, our group was without a translator, but luckily, music is a fairly universal language.  It was very stretching and forced us to exert a lot of energy, but we had a blast doing it each time!

We would also have times where we prayed over all of the kids.  There were several testimonies from the kids of God working in their lives from healing physical pains, to sensing the Holy Spirit’s love in their hearts.  It was amazing to watch these little people willingly open their hearts and spirits to God and to verbalize what He was doing in them.  While most of these kids were from abused homes, they recklessly loved us with unconditional love within moments of meeting us.  I strive to be someone who shows God’s love that openly.  There are several kids that now own a piece of my heart.

Overall the Guatemalan experience was life changing to say the least.  Since being home, I’ve had daily thoughts to study Spanish and become fluent so that I can go back one day and connect further with these amazing kids.  I don’t know where God will lead me in the future but God has spoken clearly that He’s moving me into a season of balance and alignment.  Hopefully while walking in alignment with Him, God will lead me back to Guatemala some day!

Thank you all so much for your financial support and prayerful intercession for me and my team.  Your partnership has truly changed my life and shifted the atmosphere in Guatemala towards Christ even more!